So you all know how cute Grandpa is, right? Well, most of the female healthcare professionals he meets think he’s real cute, too. And it doesn’t take them long to find out that Grandpa’s a hopeless romantic.
You see, given the opportunity, Grandpa would marry the first woman who gave him the time of day. Unfortunately, I have to remind him, “You’ve already out-lived two wives Grandpa, don’t be greedy. Besides, I’m not taking care of you and a wife too!”
Still, Grandpa takes full advantage of medical emergencies to flirt (yes, I said flirt) with all the pretty nurses! Never mind that he’s almost triple the age of some of the young women who take his blood pressure and listen to lungs. Grandpa could care less.
The other day, I witnessed first-hand the shameless display of affection he showered upon a certain nurse named Shannon. Since his hospital room is small and there is nowhere else to go, I was sitting in the recliner right next to Grandpa’s bed (a front row seat), so I couldn’t help but overhear the way he schmoozed his way into Shannon’s heart. Boy, was he layin’ it on thick, and boy, was she was eatin’ it up. After all, Grandpa is perfectly adorable and harmless, and the ladies know it! But what they love most about Grandpa is how he romances a woman the way men used to do in the days of the Silver Screen.
Quite the crooner, Grandpa begins serenading Shannon with: “Only make believe I love you, only make believe that you love me!”
“She’s married dad and has two kids,” I remind him.
He ignores me.
I laugh out loud, interrupting Grandpa’s love making scene.
He looks incredulous. “Well, I can dream, can’t I?” he asks testily.
Grandpa figures why should age stand in the way of true love?
True love, humph! True love is “me” taking care of “you” Grandpa (for the last five years), and not holding it against you!
Continuing his romantic tête-à-tête, I hear him whisper, “I’m smitten.”
Shannon says, “Aww!” and gives him a big hug.
I just roll my eyes.
But when I go to Walgreen’s to buy Thicken-Up for Grandpa’s swallowing disorder, I buy a box of chocolates for Grandpa to give to Shannon and the other nurses on duty.
I can’t believe it! I’m an accomplish Grandpa’s romantic notions! I’ve fallen for his schmoozing too!
I stayed late tonight to comfort Grandpa, and to finish writing this little memoir about his love conquests – one of the highlights of our hospital stay.
The night nurse Zornitza from Bulgaria tells Grandpa, “You remind me of my Grandfather. I only see him about every two years.”
She tells him how Bulgaria is next to Czechoslovakia. Grandpa is part Czechoslovakian. A sense of duty rises up in his heart. “I’ll give you a hug if you need one,” he tells her.
“Oh, he just made my night,” Zornitza exclaims. Last night was really rough. Three of her patients (including Grandpa) tore their I.V.’s out.
“He was the best behaved, though,” she says reassuringly. “But tomorrow is a full moon! I’m not looking forward to tomorrow night! I wouldn’t believe the moon could make the elderly act up unless I had experienced it!”
Come to think of it, there’s a song along those lines: “Blue moon, you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart, without a love on my own . . .”
Well, one thing I’ll tell you, I want Grandpa to keep dreaming, full moon or not, Grandpa is “smitten” a lot these days because he’s a hopeless romantic. And at the age of 93, that’s okay with me.